Quack Quack or how Masai women give birth

One of the things I love about Africa is that it let's you experience so many new things that you never dreamed of seeing.

One of those things I experienced with the Masai, is witnessing childbirth.

The wive of my husband's brother who gave birth recently. 

As generous, warm and welcoming the Masai are, I was first invited to watch a Masai lady give birth in February 2012, when I had only been living with them for a month.

Masai women traditionally have their babies at home, aided by a traditional midwife and many many of their female relatives.

The hut in which a woman is labouring is swarmed with her sisters, neighbours, mother and even grandmother. Any woman who is around is invited to watch and to support her.
However, there are rules regarding age and respect for your elders. No woman younger than the lady in labour is allowed to watch. Also, pregnant ladies are not allowed into the hut until the child is born and mothers with babies who have not yet teeth are not allowed unless they leave their children to be watched by someone outside of the hut.

Myself with two of my sisters-in-law during a ceremony.

The traditional midwive and older ladies sit on the bed with the woman in labour, holding her, rubbing her back and checking her dilation every so often. They are all naked from the waist down. This, they believe, helps the woman relax and open herself for childbirth.

After the baby is born, the traditional midwive also oversees the passing of the placenta. To help this along, a boy (or the husband of the new mother) is called to climb the roof of the house with a stick and tap it repeatedly saying 'Quack' over and over again until the placenta is out.

It is then wrapped in leaves and taken outside by two women holding a machete. The machete is used to fend of wild animals as well as men while they complete their task of burrying the placenta in the bush.

Masai women dancing at a ceremony after the birth of a child.

The women that have been called to witness the birth, help by cooking tea or porridge and boiling water for the new mother and the baby as well as the helpers. They also help clean up after the birth. Then no matter what time it is another pot of tea is cooked for the helpers.

The day after the birth a sheep is slaughtered and people are invited to celebrate. The new mother is given as much as a litre of liquid sheep's fat to drink (I tried it, and yes, it is just as disgusting as it sounds). This is thought to help her heal.

The new mother will stay inside of her hut with her baby for roughly two months and her mother and mother-in-law do all the work for her, cooking, washing, looking after the goats and much more. They also help her with the baby at night.

Her husband does not stay in the same hut as the new mother for up to three months.

Masai women from our boma receiving reusable sanitary kits through one of my projects.

Women call each other to witness each other's birth even in the middle of the night. The sense of community and love is inspiring. I have witnessed five births so far and have yet to succeed in keeping a dry eye.

Only recently my sister-in-law had her second son and I was called to her hut at 1 am. For a second I thought about just continuing to sleep but the feeling of responsibility and of showing my support to my fellow women, made me get up.

I sat in her hut, watching her labour with many other women for over 2 hours, until she gave birth just after 3 am and I held her tiny baby for the first time not long afterwards. During the birth of her first child, she was in labour for nearly 48 hours and all without any kind of pain relief.

Myself with women from my family and a friend from Colombia

The strength, kindness and generosity of Masai women (as well as men) is something that I will never cease to admire and be grateful for.


This is why I am currently running a women empowerment project in our community, teaching Masai women how to sew their own reusable sanitary kits. If you would like to support us in this endeavour, please click on this link: 'Stephanie's Masai Women Enterprise'.

Thank you!

More of a woman

There are days where I am just bursting with inspiration and often this inspiration comes from the beautiful people I share my life with, but sometimes (and this has been the case recently) I struggle to pick up a pen and start writing.


Today though I feel like I have something to share with you again and this comes from my recent wish and desire to improve the lives of my fellow Masai women and mothers.

With my son Yannik in May 2016

As I am a mother. And I am so proud and happy that I have chosen to become one.

I remember a friend of mine once telling me, that she asked herself, after the birth of her first baby, why she had not done this earlier as it is the easiest thing she has ever done. I have to say I disagree. For me, it is not the easiest thing, it is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done, but as is so often the case with us humans, the hardest things, that we cannot imagine ourselves doing or accomplishing in life, turn out to be the best, most rewarding things at the same time.

I for my part feel that I am complete now, but by that I do not mean I am completely happy or completely fulfilled. On the contrary, having a child, has left me with a hunger and a need to DO more, to ACT more, to BE more. It has opened my eyes and my soul and has made me want to reach out and connect with the world to bring good to it. It has made me stand up and work towards a better future for my child.

A family snapshot with all the women. (Myself: back row, right)

So I am not complete, but I am completely happy in myself. I have learned to love and accept myself for who I am. When you see your body go from small to big and back and when you have had your life turned upside down and go back to normal within a couple of years, you understand really that there is nothing wether good or bad that lasts forever and that there is nothing to worry about or fear as there is nothing really that you cannot achieve if you put your mind to it.

I am more of a woman now and more of a person and I am so thankful that I have made it through the first two years of my child's life and have come out stronger.

A beautiful Masai women and her son.

If you are thinking of having a baby, if it is your heart's wish, then do it, because you will be just fine. And if you already have become a mother, then please share with me here, what you feel your baby has given you in life. Mine has given me confidence and purpose and the strongest desire to live life to the full as well as huge amounts of compassion towards my fellow women, wether mother or not.

Wishing all you beautiful ladies (and gentlemen) a beautiful day!

Life as a woman

Today on the way from our boma to the village, I bumped into a group of women on their way back home from church. They invited me to come join them in the shade for a while.

We greeted one another and they asked about my son. To which I replied that he was doing fine. They then asked who was looking after him today as I had left him - to which I said that he is with my husband's cousin and his aunt.

Masai women dancing at a ceremony 

Then just as I was about to take my leave as Sokoine was waiting for me in the village, they asked me a question that I had heard a lot of times in the last six mobths: 'So has your son stopped nursing yet?!' To which I replied: 'Of course, quite a while ago!'

The women then burst out laughing saying 'Oh I see, so where is your baby belly?!?' Onto which I started laughing saying that I did not have one yet AGAIN! I took my leave and caught up with my husband Sokoine but this conversation stayed with me all day, as many do. It is particularly catching that this conversation happened while I am preparing to have a talk with the Masai women from our village about overpopulation and their role in it.

The way they see their role as women, all they have to do is have child after child after child. They usually nurse their children for two years - sometimes a little longer, sometimes a little less. And often the reason why they stop nursing, is because they are pregnant again. So a Masai woman gives birth every 2.5 to 3 years. Given that they are married very young and have their first child around the sweet age of 16, they often have 8 children in their lifetime or more.

My husband's cousin's wife with her boy.

I have been asking myself a lot why this is lately. And I came up with this:

It is lack of education and lack of choices and opportunities that leaves women to believe that there is nothing for them to do in this world apart from having babies. But it is also the influence of their mothers that puts an emphasis on having babies, rather than on getting an education.

How many girls in our village fail to attend secondary school because they fall pregnant in the middle of it? How many girls get married off when they are a mere 13 years old? Too young and too malnourished to even fall pregnant?

I ask myself what their mothers are thinking? Is it the 12 cattle that they want, that are being given to the father of the bride in exchange for marrying her? Is it, that they just don't know that there is another way?

It is these questions that I aim to address in our next village meeting this week as part of my Masai Education Fund which aims to tackle environmental and cultural challenges within the Masai tribe.

I have no idea how my talk will be received but I see a golden glimmer of hope in that I am well known in our village and that I have lived alongsid the Masai now for six years and have gained their trust.

All that I do, I do out of love for them, for their beautiful culture, for their kind souls and their ever smiling spirits and for the awe-inspiring wilderness they call home.

I hope this love will shine through and make our community back me in trying to provoke positive change for them.

Get in touch to find out more about my Masai Education Fund and find out about ways to support us!

Our children

I have to admit that before I came to Tanzania, I had never wanted to have children.
As a matter of fact, I never wanted to get married either.

Now that I have been married for nearly 6 years and have a son of 20 months, I take a step back and ask myself what happened?

And the answer is, Africa happened!

I found so much love here, in the beauty of the country and my amazing husband and in the children without whom, Africa would only be half as heart-warming.

The children here come towards you here so fearlessly, so full of trust and curiosity - it melts your heart and makes you so much softer.

Children in Africa often grow up under difficult conditions, their parents struggling everyday to provide for them, yet they are always cheerful, running around playing with the simplest things like sand and sticks.

You do not need to encourage them to play or engage with their neighbours, they do so all by themselves and they watch and learn from their parents every day mimicking the chores they do.

They seem to grow up here so much quicker yet never losing their smiles and their playfulness.

From my earliest days here in Africa I have loved engaging with kids, finding they would pick me up even from the darkest mood and inspiring me to be a more open, kinder and softer person.

Here are some pictures of the amazing kids I live with these days.

My husband's cousin's daughter carrying her baby sister.

My husband's cousin herding our cattle. 

Our son carrying his favourite baby sheep

Some of the kids from our boma posing for the camera.