Masai wisdom

Eight years in Africa.

Eight years in the land of elephants, lions and giraffe. In the land of open plains and acacia trees, in the land of the Masai people, Samburu, Himba, Zulu and Mursi tribes.

In the land where you never say no, even though yes often seems insane. In the land where no one is ever on time but everything somehow has its order.

In the land where the most stunning sunsets are everyday business and where the moon rises like a big red sun and the stars cover more space than the dark.

Masai warriors parading at a ceremony

What have these eight years done to me? They have turned me upside down and shaken out all the dust, the fear, the doubt, the hate. They have left me standing with wide open eyes, ready to see everything anew. To see everything from a selfless angle of love. And one of my greatest teachers are the beautiful people I am so lucky to share my life with: the Masai.

They have taught me that tears are only cried for the dead and that any other tears are cried in anger rather than sadness. They have taught me that children are tellers of the truth and that they lift you out from the darkest corners of your soul.

Overlooking the stunning Masai Steppe 

They have taught me that it is rude to not accept gifts, even when they come from someone who has nothing. They have taught me that being still does not mean you are moving backwards,  but that it gives you time to reflect on your next move.

They have taught me happiness can be found anywhere and any day and that it is you who creates it, for yourself and others.

They have taught me that accepting each other's differences teaches you to accept not only those different to you but also yourself.

They have taught me that inviting strangers into your house leaves you feeling connected to the world and is nothing but basic decency.

They have taught me that laughter and stories are more important than big cars and designer jeans.

They have taught me that dirty, skinny kids are happier than ours could ever be and that it is OK to play with sand and sticks.

My husband and I.

They have taught me that family is everything and that sharing makes you rich.

They have taught me to live slower and with more purpose.

They have taught me to be patient and that detours make the journey memorable.

They have taught be to observe more and judge less.

They have made me softer and harder at the same time.

Warrior herding his cattle

They have turned me into the person who talks to strangers when passing them on the street, who gives a random child a sweet just to see it smile. They have turned me into someone who fears the coldness of the western world and who has stopped trying to explain to those who have never been to Africa.


Do YOU understand?

More of a woman

There are days where I am just bursting with inspiration and often this inspiration comes from the beautiful people I share my life with, but sometimes (and this has been the case recently) I struggle to pick up a pen and start writing.


Today though I feel like I have something to share with you again and this comes from my recent wish and desire to improve the lives of my fellow Masai women and mothers.

With my son Yannik in May 2016

As I am a mother. And I am so proud and happy that I have chosen to become one.

I remember a friend of mine once telling me, that she asked herself, after the birth of her first baby, why she had not done this earlier as it is the easiest thing she has ever done. I have to say I disagree. For me, it is not the easiest thing, it is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done, but as is so often the case with us humans, the hardest things, that we cannot imagine ourselves doing or accomplishing in life, turn out to be the best, most rewarding things at the same time.

I for my part feel that I am complete now, but by that I do not mean I am completely happy or completely fulfilled. On the contrary, having a child, has left me with a hunger and a need to DO more, to ACT more, to BE more. It has opened my eyes and my soul and has made me want to reach out and connect with the world to bring good to it. It has made me stand up and work towards a better future for my child.

A family snapshot with all the women. (Myself: back row, right)

So I am not complete, but I am completely happy in myself. I have learned to love and accept myself for who I am. When you see your body go from small to big and back and when you have had your life turned upside down and go back to normal within a couple of years, you understand really that there is nothing wether good or bad that lasts forever and that there is nothing to worry about or fear as there is nothing really that you cannot achieve if you put your mind to it.

I am more of a woman now and more of a person and I am so thankful that I have made it through the first two years of my child's life and have come out stronger.

A beautiful Masai women and her son.

If you are thinking of having a baby, if it is your heart's wish, then do it, because you will be just fine. And if you already have become a mother, then please share with me here, what you feel your baby has given you in life. Mine has given me confidence and purpose and the strongest desire to live life to the full as well as huge amounts of compassion towards my fellow women, wether mother or not.

Wishing all you beautiful ladies (and gentlemen) a beautiful day!

Masai customs

I am often being asked how I managed to adapt to the Masai culture as it is so different from my European background. The answer is: I managed because I wanted to.
Moving to a different country, surrounding yourself with new people and an unknown culture is always a challenge but one, that can teach us great lessons about life and make us stronger.

My mother-in-law milking a cow with my son Yannik on her back

I would like to share with you today, some of the lesser known, smaller Masai customs and taboos that I had to get accustomed to and that sometimes make me roll my eyes, but more often than not, put a smile on my face.

1) when lying down outside because of illness or tiredness, one has to make sure, one lies in such a way, that one's head points towards the sun.

2) when you pour milk out of the traditional enkoti, the dried out pumpkin shell in which milk is stored, make sure you do not empty it completely, leave a few drops inside.

3) when putting logs on the fire, make sure, the big end of the log goes into the flames.

4) when sitting on a chair, and encountered by someone older than you, give that person your chair and sit on the floor or on a log.

5) never step over a man's stick, walk around it.

6) when shaving your head, do not let the wind disperse your hair, collect it and bury it somewhere secret.

7) Masai clothes are always tied together on the right shoulder, exposing the left.

8) when you see the new moon rising, pick up a pebble and throw it at it.

A group of warriors eating meat outdoors.

9) warriors are not allowed to eat inside a woman's house, recognised by the presence of 1) enkisojet, the tree twig with which the enkotiook (pumpkins used to store milk) are cleaned, 2) olmasarr, the cow tail which is used to disperse ashes inside the enkotiook as a means of preserving the milk and 3) ilkiperre, the specially carved tree stick with which emutu, the Masai's staple meal of maize flour, is stirred.

10) when milking a cow, make sure you stand on her right hand side, where her branding is.


How many of these querky Masai customs are you familiar with? Let me know if you have a questions or would like to know more about a particular one. Of course there are more, but I think ten is a good number to stop for now 😊.

Wishing you a lovely Sunday.

Every day challenges in Africa

A week ago, I was travelling from our home in the Kiteto district to Dar es Salaam with two friends who had come on their first visit to Africa.

Travelling in rural Tanzania is often challenging due to bad road conditions but I had not worried too much about this trip as it had not rained at all yet this year and the dirt road was dry.

One of the many rural settlements we pass when travelling to Dar es Salaam.

This changed though when we were about 2 hours into our journey and it starting raining. The dirt road turned to mud and our bus was more slithering than driving along it.

Then we met a truck which had broken down and had not managed to move to its side of the road so as to let passing vehicles by. Our driver thought it wise to attempt passing it despite the slippery road and - unsurprisingly - the heavy bus slipped to its left and into the side ditch at such an angle that even the front door would not open anymore.

I only realized that there was no way to exit this bus to get ourselves to safety before the driver would attempt to reverse out of the ditch, when people starting climbing out of the windows.

Myself exiting our bus through the window.

I had a hurt foot and the jump out of the window was 9 feet so I had to think about this one for a while.

Luckily we were with some Masai from our village and they managed to climb out and assist us in doing so ourselves.

I felt bad for my friends who are not used to encountering such difficulties when travelling but they took it well.
We took shelter under some nearby shop windows as it started pouring down.

Passengers watch as the bus crew works on getting it out.

Soon, to our luck, another bus came past and we squeezed in to continue our journey, leaving our bus being worked on by the crew.

We made it to Dar es Salaam the same day.

It was an adventure that, as so many things do here in Africa, tested our spirits and resilience. We emerged from it unhurt if disillusioned and it taught us a valuable lesson about how lucky we are in the first world where road travel is so much safer and comfortable.

It was not the first time I experienced a bus discontinuing its journey due to roads having become impassable and it will not be the last.

It is in fact how people in rural Africa travel on a daily basis - and they never lose their smiles despite it.

Circumcision ceremony - Elatim

This week we had a big circumcision ceremony, an Elatim, for nine boys and girls.

Masai women dancing during Endomon

Whereas the boys (layiok) have to actually undergo circumcision, the girls' (endoyie's) involvement is only symbolic.

An Elatim takes part over two days. On the first day, there is the Endomon, which is a good luck ceremony for which there has to be some offering. This offering varies from family to family but for my husband's family it is a sheep that is slaughtered.

If the Elatim involves girls and should they be already promised to someone, there will also be a Saikelosi. A Saikelosi involves the arrival of the future groom's family and gifts that they bring to his chosen bride.

At the arrival of the Saikelosi, the women dance and by nightfall the warriors, the Moran will dance too. The actual circumcision does not take place until anytime between 1 am and 4 am and often the Moran dance right until that time.

The person circumcising the boys is often of the Hadzabe tribe as the Masai believe the spilling of blood of a fellow Masai, brings bad luck.

During Ilmasin 

The coming day is the actual Elatim and a bull is slaughtered to feed the guests.
The parents of the newly circumcised children have to perform Ilmasin, where the father sits outside the hut where his son or daughter rests and his wife and other female relatives gather around him to shave his head and spill milk on him as a blessing. Ilmasin is completed by women dancing and chanting.

The boys rest inside for a month or until they are fully healed.

They won't be full warriors however until the current Moran have taken the Ilmaho ceremony in which they pass their rights and duties onto the new generation of Moran.

See below how the Moran dance during the Elatim.